Not Quite Daily Drabble: One Side of a Conversation (or, an Ace in Teland)
I was reading Te’s fics when an evil idea occurred to me: New member of the batfamily being an ace of the sex-repulsed variety. In Teland. I cackled like a witch over the idea. Then I thought about it and managed to break my fucking heart. So you all are going to suffer with me.
RJ picked at a loose flake of rust on the fire escape pensively. “It’s not that I want to have sex with them, exactly. I mean, not wanting to have sex is one of the few things I’m absolutely sure of about myself.”
“But sex is what binds this family together. Even when Tim wasn’t actively having it, he was actively wanting it, and I’m just – here. Wrinkling my nose at anything getting near my genitals.” She snickered a little at her own phrasing.
“Or getting other people’s genitalia near me,” RJ agreed. “But sex isn’t just sex with bats. It’s about intimacy and trust and all that other horribly uncomfortable emotional stuff. Because most of us are emotionally incompetent, and that’s the only time they let their guard down to actually fucking talk about it.”
“You think I’m exaggerating, but I’m really, really not.” RJ tossed her hair back, scars flashing into view briefly before being hidden again beneath her hair. “Average vigilante has enough issues to fill the library of congress. I should know, I’m one of them.”
“Yes, really. Only difference is my brain bypassed the sex shit the rest of them got tangled up in.”
“I run around rooftops in green scaled panties, hitting people with a big stick. At what point did you get the idea I was well adjusted?”
“But, yeah.” RJ sighed, staring off into the distance. “That’s my family, sex and warts and everything else included.”
She shrugged.“What can I do? I either get used to being on the metaphoric outskirts of family life, or I have to let them fuck me – except they won’t fuck me, because they all know I’d rather have a root canal without anesthesia, and they don’t want to hurt me.”
“I want to be part of the family. Really part of it, not just working beside them and being friends. But that’s not possible, and I’m trying to make myself accept it.”